Looking back at my older work, I see not just sketches and paintings but snapshots of different phases of my life, moments of ambition, struggle, and rediscovery. When I left art college in 1986, the UK was emerging from the miners’ strike, and job prospects for my generation were bleak. Art wasn’t a viable career path, and survival took priority. A few years later, I returned to college to study computing, thinking I could merge my creativity with technology and explore computer graphics. But I was too early, the industry hadn’t quite caught up, and the opportunities weren’t there yet. Instead, I learned to touch type at college while studying computing, but the equipment was so expensive that they taught us to touch type on mechanical typewriters, early days of computing. I then stepped into a career in IT.
For decades, art took a backseat as life moved forward at full speed. A career in IT, the prospect of early retirement, divorce, and ultimately gaining full custody of my daughter meant there was little time for creative pursuits. I had periods where I tried to pick up a pencil or brush again, but they were false starts, brief moments of enthusiasm cut short by the demands of daily life.
Now, nearly 40 years later, I find myself at a turning point. The passion for creating has never truly left, and the time is finally right to fully commit to it. Looking at my older work, I see both the potential and the missed opportunities, but rather than dwell on what could have been, I see it as motivation. The journey has been long, but it’s not just a journey with an ending, it is a continuous journey, learning all the time. Earning a living as an artist is another skill to be developed, and I am ready to embrace it as part of this ongoing path.
I’ve been able to keep at it now for over six years with only small gaps, steadily gaining momentum. These journal entries have condensed that process, with some artwork taking several months to complete, an hour here, an hour there. It was a struggle working through the frustration when all I wanted to do was relax, but now it’s about fighting the procrastination of perfectionism. The most important shift is that when I do sit down to work on a piece of art, I enjoy it once more. It’s about the journey, not the destination.
